Everyone's a Leader

Many times when I speak to people about leadership, they say, “I am not a leader.” I then ask them the following questions, and if they say yes to any one of them, then I say YOU ARE A LEADER:

Are you married? Then you are a leader. It does not matter if you are if you are the husband or wife. You are leading in some way, no matter how small.

Do you have kids? Then you are a leader. Your children will look to you for direction and in many cases their lives will be shaped by what they see in yours.

Do you work? Then you are a leader.  Whether you are an employee, a supervisor, or a manager, you are leading those employees who work alongside you or who report to you. I believe that the front desk receptionist is also a leader. People are influenced by his or her attitude and character, and some will emulate what they see.

Do you have friends? Then you are a leader.  Your friends are looking at you and your influence is being felt. You can influence them in many ways, so don’t take your leadership lightly.

The question then becomes ‘what type of leader are you?’ There are good and bad leaders. I am sure for every good leader you can name, you can equally name bad ones.

Leaders influence and, as result, people will follow.

So, what kind of leader are you, or what kind of leader do you want to become?

Lighting The Way

With all of the negativity and violence experienced in the lives of many young inner city men, I have found an illustration of hope.  About 3 years ago I met two young men, Madison and Alexander who were involved in the real estate market and the network marketing industry.  Later I was introduced to Omar. They were very successful, which allowed them to work for themselves full-time.  I was impressed and encouraged by their commitment to take care of their families and their determination to make a positive impact on society.  They are three of the most fearless and creative young men I know.

Madison, Alexander, and Omar are leaders that are making a difference in the lives of their families, friends and in their respective businesses.  It encourages me to see these men who are actively engaged in building a better life for themselves and helping others along the way.  None of them asks for a hand out, but through focus, diligence, creativity, and integrity they are positively impacting lives.

They have collaborated and worked hard to open a music production studio, graphic design and entrepreneurial development businesses.  They support each other in their respective enterprises and want the best for each other.  This is not a competition where they want the other to fail.  They genuinely want the best for each other through the exchange of ideas on how to make each other’s business successful.

I see a bright future for these men of inspiration and courage.  I cannot wait to see where they land in their ultimate destination.  I know that they will achieve their goals and dreams and will be great examples for other young men and women to follow.  I am so proud of them!

Life is about choices and the choices they have made clearly will change their lives forever.

Leadership Is About Influence

"Leadership is influence" John Maxwell

During a recent talk I gave I asked the attendees how many of them thought they were a leader.  Only a few raised their hands.  I shared with them that I believed that all of them were leaders.  The question was what kind of leader were they?

Leadership is not just about leading people to accomplish a specific business result or leading a sports team.  It’s about influence.  If you have an influence on someone’s thinking or the decisions they make, you are a leader.  That means if you have children, belong to a club, church, neighborhood group, you are most likely influencing others.

The influence you have over others should not be taken lightly. How you communicate with others who look up to you can be the difference between succeeding and failing.  I believe there are so many leaders who are not aware of the impact their leadership has on others.

As a parent what kind of leadership are you displaying to your family?  How do you communicate with your spouse?  Are you short?  Dismissive? If you have children, you are modeling a behavior that can have a lasting effect on their lives.  Young men that see verbal and emotional abuse from father to mother can take that as the proper way to communicate with their future wife.  Young girls can take away the thought that it is normal for a man to abuse them emotionally or physically.  Conversely, are you loving to your wife or husband?  Are you respectful?

Leadership is not just about the behaviors you project at work, but in every area of your life.  How do you lead in your community and what do your friends say about you?  Authentic leadership then is representative of who you are in every aspect of your life.

Humble Pie

Have you ever had this conversation with one of your children or with one of your parents? “I am the parent and you are the child. When I tell you to do something it should be, ‘Yes Dad,’ or ‘Yes Mom.’” Sometimes as a parent you may feel like you do not have to explain yourself to your child or that you have all of the answers.

I was engaged in a conversation with my son in which I knew I was right. I made sure that he understood that I was right and that no further discussion really was necessary. After a mild protest he finally gave in, (and not a minute too soon).

After he went upstairs to his room, my wife in her own motherly way and with wisdom and patience showed me the error in my position. As it turned out in this instance my son was right and I was wrong.

Have you ever eaten humble pie? The main ingredient is humility, but other critical ingredients are understanding, sincerity and love. It does not taste good going in, but once it settles in your stomach it gradually satisfies.

After letting the situation soak in a bit, I made the trek upstairs and knocked gently on my son’s door. He opened it and I said that I was sorry that I did not hear him out and asked for his forgiveness. He forgave and we hugged. What a great feeling!

As a leader you have to be willing to be held accountable for the things you both do and say to the people you lead, whether at work or at home. Simply saying, “I am the boss,” or “I am the parent is flawed leadership.

How you handle matters with the people you lead can have either a negative or positive long-term impact on your relationship. Admitting when you are wrong is not a sign of weakness, but respect and strength.

I don’t know about you, but I'd rather eat apple pie.

Leadership (Bitter or Sweet?)

I go to the same coffee shop everyday for my caffeine fix and have been doing so for the past 10 years. During this time I have seen managers come and go. With each new manager I have noticed that some employees seem to take on the personality of the manager. It is amazing to see people change right before your eyes.

There was one store manager that seemed to be dissatisfied with her job and she wore it on her face. I am not sure why she was even hired as a manager. She was short-tempered with her staff and seldom smiled or engaged the customers. Servers, who were previously energetic and happy, turned sour quickly under her leadership. If it were not for the location and the quality of the coffee I would not have returned.

After a time the manager was replaced with one who appeared to love the job and supported her staff. It took some time but the change in the employees was dramatic. With stress levels reduced, unforced smiles returned and employees appeared to be more engaged in their jobs and with the customers.

What does this say about leadership? How you act can have a significant influence on the people that work for you. People draw their energy from their leader. This influence can be both positive and negative, and can have a serious impact on business and the lives of the people you lead. If you are serious about your leadership it is essential that you be mindful of your demeanor, especially when you are working with your team. When your attitude is positive you will be surprised how productive your team can be.

Coffee always seems to taste better when it is served with smile.

Someone Is Always Watching

“Persons are judged to be great because of the positive qualities they possess,
not because of the absence of faults” Unknown

You never know who is looking at you. One day I took my 12 year old daughter to my company for a quick visit. I left my office briefly to meet one of our team members and then came back to pick her up. The next day when I returned to my office I noticed that she had written something on my erase board. What she had written was qualities of a good leader. I was so proud of her and her insight on leadership I could not erase it.

Just in case you cannot read the words they state: Qualities of a Good Leader are… will for success, “know how”, love for everyone, interest in job and consumer, flexibility, strength, care, intelligence and patience. Some might question some of the qualities, but I was impressed with her thinking on the qualities she thought essential to a good leader.

The amazing thing is that at the age of 12 she could articulate the meaning of each one of the qualities. When I asked her how she had arrived at these qualities, she stated with a smile, “I saw them in you daddy.” It is really humbling to know that someone is always watching and listening to what you do and say. It places a lot of responsibility knowing that your example can either inspire or disappoint.

You can be a great leader at work and in the community, but your leadership should not stop there. What are your family and friends saying about you? What are they observing? How many leaders do you know or have heard about that do a great job as a leader in their company, but their home life has fallen apart? I have learned that leadership is who you are at home, work and in your community. Be careful, someone is watching you.