Hate or Hazing

It really bothers me when I hear the way some commentators or sports figures talk about leadership. Just because a player can hit a lot of home runs or throw a football sixty yards from his knees does not make him a leader. When I see players in the news for a DUI or for getting into a bar fight and then hear all of his teammates talking about his leadership on the field it just drives me crazy!

Leaders lead both on and off the field, in and out of the clubhouse. For those of us who work for a company, we must demonstrate leadership both at work and at home. I think some who call themselves leaders believe leadership is like a hat you can put on or take off.

Currently, there is a scandal going on with the Miami Dolphins in which one of the so-called leaders on the team is accused of hazing a fellow teammate. This same person doing the hazing was elected to serve on the team's leadership counsel. REALLY! This person that is accused of the hazing has a history of misconduct and yet, someone thought he had the qualifications to serve on the counsel. What's worse is that he has the support of the majority of his teammates.

With all of this being played out in the media, what is the message being sent to our young people, especially ones playing organized sports? It's ok to haze a teammate, spew all kinds of racial epithets all in the name of toughening a player up. Is that the message we want to send?

Some say this has been going on, and is going on right now on many NFL teams. I DO NOT CARE!  Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about harmless traditions like having a rookie carry a veteran's equipment or buy donuts for the team. What I am talking about is the malicious and downright evil abuse of a person. I do not see how using racial name calling is going to make a person better or tougher.

What if the person who was being hazed hauled off and knocked the teammate out and hurt them where they were unable to play football? Or worse yet, what if the player got sick and tired of the abuse and went to his car and pulled a gun and shot the bully? 

Would he be justified? NO!  What would happen is that the media would start the whirlwind of trying to figure out how this happened and would begin to speculate as to what would motivate a player to shoot one of his teammates.

Well who is to blame? I blame the league and the team who allowed this type of behavior to take place. I blame them for a lack of leadership. I blame them for not going after this behavior with the same vigor as helmet to helmet hits or "Bounty Gate." From what I am hearing from current and former players, the teams and the league know this is going on.

For those of you who condone this type of behavior, let me ask you this question, how would you react if someone called you a vile name? What if the person said they would slap your mother or kill you? If you can honestly say that it would be okay with you...let me stop there.

I normally don't vent like this, but I just could not hold back. Bullying must stop! If you are a leader on a team or working in a company and you witness this type of behavior, step up and be a real leader and demand that it stops!

Employees vs. Profits

“I wish I was older so I could retire.”

“The company just isn’t what it used to be.”

“The company has lost the vision of the founder.”

These were just a few comments that I read in a string of Facebook posts.  The company that the employees were referring to will remain nameless. The name isn’t as important as the sentiments of the employees.

This once great company, although still profitable, has lost its way.  Some might say, “As long as it is profitable what’s the issue?”

I have spoken with current employees of the company, and they say it is not the same as it once was. It is all about the numbers and no longer about customer service or proper treatment of employees.  IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT LEAVE. YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY JUST TO HAVE A JOB!

Although these statements may be true, using them as a tool to silence employees is not the way any of us would want to be treated.

That’s the issue.

It’s my opinion that most employees understand the importance of profits and are willing to work hard to produce them. However, they also know that in order for any company to succeed, it needs a solid team of employees who are aligned with the goals of the company in order for the organization to achieve them.

Most employees want to be proud of the company they work for, and they also want to feel that they are a valued part of their company’s success.  When leadership is focused primarily on profits and productivity as most important, employees, instead, get the message that the company does not care about them.

Examples of poor leadership are all around us. Many of us can point to numerous individuals who demonstrate extraordinarily poor leadership. With the current up and down state of the economy, there is a lot of pressure on companies to perform at a very high level. Let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with profits, they sustain jobs and fuel growth. However, if a company is to remain sustainable, it will need a team of individuals who are engaged with the vision and mission of the organization.

If you are a leader of a company, what do you think current and former employees say about your organization?

It's About People

I was watching a popular business program on TV, and they were profiling the CEO of a well-known and successful restaurant chain. The interviewer asked the CEO where he saw himself and the company in five years. He answered that it’s not where he sees himself, but where he sees his team and his company.

His answer was refreshing because the temptation for many high level executives is to accept the accolades and bask in the light of their own brilliance. For many, it is so easy to get caught up in believing their own press. Some believe that the success of the business is due solely to their business intelligence. Although it may be one of the reasons for the success of the company, it is critical to remember that people are the backbone of any successful organization.

In that same interview, the CEO also stated that another ingredient that made the restaurants so successful is their commitment to identifying the next leader(s) in the company. The leadership believes that developing bench strength within the organization will result in a sustainable business model that values people first, then profits. One way this is done is through frequent leadership visits to a certain percentage of their restaurants where they make it a point to sit down not only with the managers of the restaurants, but also with each of the hourly employees. They ask them about their supervisors and how they interact with the team. They also ask how the business can improve. This ground level, in-the-field intelligence not only helps the company, but, in the long run, also helps to foster loyalty within the ranks of the restaurant staff.

As leaders it's important for us to really support our people, making sure that we are connecting with them on a regular basis.  One on One interaction, whenever possible, is key to employee engagement.
Leadership like this causes employees to feel valued and to take ownership as clear stakeholders in the success of the business. When employees take ownership in the business, the result is happy customers, happy employees, and increased profitability.

As a leader you will be tempted to go it alone, but never lose sight of the fact that the most important asset you have is your team. It’s about people.

Leaders who don't lead

I think all of us have either worked for or have observed individuals in leadership positions who don' t lead. Some are reluctant leaders, some are leaders who have been placed in leadership because there was no one else to fill the role. Some individuals have been placed in leadership because they have "time and grade."  I consider this sad because in many cases their failed leadership can have  a negative impact on the people they are to lead.

The  inspiration for this post originated from a conversation I had with a friend who shared a story about a great employee who was literally torn down by a manager who said to her "I thought this team would be a disappointment and I was right."  What this manager failed to remember is that she selected the team she was complaining about. The problem, as I see it, is twofold.

One, she lacked ability to train her team properly in how to do their respective jobs.

Two, the problem is not with her people, but her inability to set the right expectations.

Ultimately, when a team fails, it is not the team that has failed, but the person who is leading.  Leaders who don't lead fall behind, and they can take a lot of good people with them.

Sometimes the ones in the front should be in the back, and the ones in the back should be brought forward.  True leaders lead!

Characteristics of Humility

A friend of mine had a business meeting with a client.  He later shared with me his surprise when the CEO offered him a cup of coffee and then proceeded to pour and serve it to him.  He said, “The CEO poured me a cup of coffee!  Not his assistant, but the CEO!”

My friend was so surprised, because too often a trait that is consistently missing in today’s leaders is HUMILITY. 

Leaders must be willing to get out of themselves and look at the whole instead of the part.  We need leaders who can encourage people with enthusiasm, confidence and most importantly, humility.

But what does a humble leader look like?

• Does not consider himself/herself above certain tasks
• Acknowledges when someone has a better idea
• Admits when they are wrong
• Willing to serve someone else, even if they are a subordinate
• Understands that it is not about their needs and wants
• Quickly gives credit where credit is due

Can you name one leader in the public eye that has demonstrated humility?

 

Does a company have a responsibility to be compassionate?

In this critical time in our country’s history, many companies are finding themselves having to make tough choices if they are going to survive this economy.  Most times the choices involve reducing costs.  This is a code word for laying off employees.  It is amazing how many companies seemingly accomplish this task without a lot of compassion.  With the stroke of a pen thousands of people’s lives are changed forever.  Some never recover from the loss.  The result can be the loss of a home, car, or deferred dreams.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that sometimes it is necessary to reduce staff and cut back on other expenses in order to ensure the survival of a company.  My question is why do so many companies make this decision and carry it out with such a lack of compassion?  I have a friend whose wife worked for a Bay Area company that called all of their field staff into the office.  As each of them arrived at the corporate office they were greeted by their supervisor who took the keys to their company vehicle handed them their last check and gave them cash for the waiting taxi that took them home.  How cold is that?

There has to be a better way.  When I was laid off from my company, not only did they give me warning, but they also explained the reasons why the decision was made.  Obviously anytime you are laid off it doesn't feel good, but when a company is cognizant of the effect that the decision will have on the employee and take steps to mitigate the shock, it goes a long way to maintaining the person’s dignity.

As a leader I think it is critical to stay in front of your business and to take steps to minimize the need for layoffs.  What do I mean?  With the exception of external forces beyond the company’s   control, there are steps the company can take to mitigate the necessity for layoffs.   Proper business forecasting, staying lean, and understanding your market can help. In addition, growth should be very strategic and personnel hired only when capacity dictates.  I hear of so many companies who experience explosive growth and hire a lot of personnel.  In short order someone gets the idea of improving efficiency which results in the loss of jobs.  Efficiency is required for a business to deliver consistent services and products to the customer, but more thought should be given beforehand to implementing streamlined processes and hiring based on anticipated need.

Leaders have a responsibility not only to their shareholders and boards, but to the people they lead.  I think you can take care of both if leaders get out of short-term thinking and look to the long-term benefits of all those they lead.  Building a compassionate and caring company culture is achievable if the right person is at the helm.

Be the leader others want to follow

There is no shortage of examples of poor leadership. Who hasn’t had a boss who invoked feelings of disrespect? A good leader is someone who energizes, inspires, motivates, and unites, while producing positive results. Here are 12 keys to being a leader others want to follow:

·         Give more than you expect others to give.

·         Set the example.

·         Remember it is not about you, but about the team.

·         Combine optimism and perseverance.

·         Express appreciation and give credit where credit is due.

·         Check your ego at the door.

·         Show respect for the people around you.

·         Be a source of inspiration.

·         Stress cooperation, not competition.

·         Maintain a sense of humor.

·         Be a teacher, coach and mentor.

·         Hold yourself and others accountable.

If you do not have a boss, teacher, father, or mother with any of these characteristics, then let it begin with you.  You can be the leader you want to see in others.

Three Sisters

Some say nothing good comes out of Oakland, CA.  With all of the news of murder and crime, the city has taken a black eye from the media.  I am here to tell you that Oakland has produced many good people who have made significant contributions.   I can name three, Denise, Dana and Leslie, my Three Sisters. 

These three strong women, raised by an equally strong mother, have worked hard to overcome many challenges in their lives.  Whether working their way through college or overcoming barriers caused by simply being women, they possess fortitude that has led to many significant accomplishments.   Denise is an budget analyst, Dana an educator and Leslie a Registered Nurse.   All of them are leaders in their professions and highly respected.

 

What makes them special is that they serve their community, church and family in a way that elevates the lives of the people they touch.  As their brother, I am so proud of what they have been able to accomplish personally and professionally.

It is very easy to look outside your own family for examples of leadership, I am fortunate not to have to look any further than my Three Sisters.

Rock Solid Leaders vs. Wannabe Leaders

The communication style of leaders helps us distinguish rock solid leaders from the wannabe leaders.  Over the past two weeks, we have seen wannabe leaders on both sides of the political aisle.  We have been hearing a lot from leaders who care more about speaking in sound bites and spinning an argument rather than resolving issues and achieving consensus on an issue. 

Who and where are the rock solid leaders we need to extricate our country out of the morass of out-of-control spending and debt? 

When facing a problem, the great leader says, “Let's find out,” while the wannabe says “I have the answer, you just need to acknowledge it.”  We need rock solid leaders, not wannabes.  But what is the difference between a rock solid leader and a wannabe? 

• Rock solid leaders listen more than they talk, while wannabe leaders can’t wait until you stop talking so they can say what they want to say.
• Rock solid leaders know their strengths and weaknesses, while wannabe leaders are afraid to acknowledge their weaknesses.
• Rock solid leaders place the needs of the organization and the people they lead first, while wannabe leaders are concerned more about what’s in it for them.
• Rock solid leaders are accountable for their decisions, wannabe leaders look to place the blame on others.

Obviously, the above list is not comprehensive; you may have your own definition and list of distinctions between the two.  The main point here is that we need rock solid leaders who are willing to listen more than they speak and who are willing to be held accountable for their actions and the decisions they make.

How do you define a rock solid leader? 

Uninformed and Out of Touch

A corporate newsletter goes out from the CEO to the workforce, touting the greatness of the company and how it is the market leader.  It talks about revenues being up and expenses being down and the bright future of the company.  If you are working for this company what do you do with the newsletter?  If you are truly working for a great organization you probably share it with your family with a sense of pride.  However, if you are one of the 33% of employees who hate their job and are actively looking for a new one, you probably chuck it in the trash.

Many leaders are so out of touch they think everything is hunky dory.  CEOs and other top executives often do not know what is going on at the ground level of their companies.  One of my favorite television series is Undercover Boss.  The premise of the series is that a top executive goes undercover in his/her own company to see what is really going on in the organization.  Many times it is an eye opening experience.  On one episode a CEO stated in front of his employees, “I thought sitting behind a desk in Michigan I had the right to say we take care of our people, I have learned firsthand that the people take care of this company.”

Unfortunately, I believe there are too many top executives who could care less about how the people in their organization feel about their company or its leadership as long as they are meeting the company’s goals.  Little do they know, there are good employees at risk of quitting or are suffering in silence.

I recently read an article that stated:

• 1/3 of the employees are looking for new jobs.
• Many employees are suffering from low morale.
• Employees are dealing with unrealistic expectations placed on them by their companies.
• Employees are asked to do more with less and for less.

With the costs associated with the acquisition of new employees, companies need to pay more attention to the overall satisfaction of their people.  

If you are a leader in your company and you are looking for ways to improve the overall morale of your employees, consider the following:

• Where feasible, conduct consistent one-on-one meetings with your employees at least monthly.  This check-in lets them know you care about them.  (Important note: let them set the agenda). 
• Set realistic expectations.  Ask for their feedback on what is expected of them.  If this is not done, you will find out pretty quickly whether they are aligned on what you expect.
• Allow them to utilize their strengths.  If not, they end up performing tasks because they must if they want to work, but they hate it.
• Supply them with the tools they need to get their job done.
• Work with your employees to establish goals, both personal and professional, and metrics to help them measure their progress.  Good employees want to know that what they do matters to the company.
• Reward people for performance and hold them accountable for not meeting their commitments.  Rewards are more than just money.  Find out what motivates your employees and, as appropriate, reward accordingly.

Complacent leadership can dramatically impact the profitability and sustainability of your company because it may lead to the loss of great employees.

When you neglect your A+ employees, all you are left with is a bunch of uninspired and unhappy people; however, showing your employees how much you care about their growth and development will result with a highly charged, innovative and committed workforce.

What are you doing as a leader to maintain the morale of the people you lead?

My Leadership Philosophy

On December 31, 2010 I wrote a post about developing a leadership philosophy.  http://leadershipperspectives.blogspot.com/2010/12/leadership-philosophy.html

In that post I said that I was working on developing my leadership philosophy.  My leadership philosophy is very simple and I am willing to be held accountable to the people I lead in the words I wrote and I believe. Well true to my word here it is:

Tony Friday’s Leadership Philosophy

I have developed this philosophy to help guide me as a leader. I will work to consistently live out these principles.  I expect you to hold me accountable when I fall short. I am committed to helping you to grow, develop and realize your potential both personally and professionally.

Operating Principles

1.       Set the example—What I expect of you, I will expect from myself.  I will not ask you to do anything I would not do.  I expect you to set a positive example for others.

 2.      Coaching for Success—When you need me I will be there for you.  I will not give you the answers, but I will help you through the thinking process.  You have the solutions.

3.       Treat each other like you want to be treated—I will treat you with fairness and respect.  I expect that you do the same to those you work with and lead.

4.       Accountability—I expect you to do what you say.  You can count on me to do the same.  If you are in danger of not delivering on a promise you have made, please let me know as soon as you know.  We can then work together on finding a mutually beneficial solution.

5.       Listen— I do not have all of the answers; I will actively listen to your ideas and your point of view.  We will work together to make our company better.

6.       Communication—I will provide regular feedback that is direct and constructive relative to your needs and the needs of the company.  I want you to do the same for me.

7.       Operating with Candor—I will be candid, not critical in my communication with you.  If you feel my comments are critical, please let me know.

 8.      Shared Risk—We are in this together.  I will not engage in the blame game and I expect the same from you.

 9.       Excellence—I will create a team where we pursue excellence, (not perfection).  I expect you to do your very best every day.  I will not tolerate sloppy work.

10.     Positive Attitude—I will bring a positive attitude every day and I expect you to do the same. Challenges will come, but with the right attitude we can overcome them all. 

11.     Celebrate Wins—We will celebrate our wins, no matter how small.  Little victories are the stepping stones to great accomplishments.  Every day we will play like winners!

Here are a few things that I will not stand for (my hot buttons):

•        Stealing

•        Lying

•        Disrespecting your teammates

•        Sloppy work

My commitment to you:

I will give you my very best every day.  I will continue to learn and grow as a leader. We will have fun!

HOW DID I DO?

Now it’s your turn.  I challenge you to write your leadership philosophy.  It does not have to relate solely to business, it can be your philosophy on how you lead in your home or in your community.  Whatever your philosophy is, be willing to be held accountable for who you say you are as a leader.

I hope you accept the challenge, it will differentiate you from the millions of leaders who are winging it and are not willing to be transparent to the people they lead.

What is Leadership anyway?

Every day we hear the word leader being bandied about with no real thought as to the effective meaning of the word.  This causes me to think, what defines leadership? What does it do and how does it behave?  During my research for this post, I looked up some definitions of leadership, and although there were similar components to the definitions, they were very different. 

Merriam-Webster gives us a place to start:

1 : the office or position of a leader

2 : capacity to lead

That’s a pretty flat description.  Let’s see if there’s something a little more  3-dimensional that will help:

Here are just a few from Wikipedia:  Leadership has been described as the “process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task”. Definitions more inclusive of followers have also emerged. Alan Keith of Genentech states that, "Leadership is ultimately about creating a way for people to contribute to making something extraordinary happen." According to Ken "SKC" Ogbonnia, "effective leadership is the ability to successfully integrate and maximize available resources within the internal and external environment for the attainment of organizational or societal goals."

The Business Dictionary defines leadership this way: “In its essence, leadership in an organizational role involves (1) establishing a clear vision, (2) sharing (communicating) that vision with others so that they will follow willingly, (3) providing the information, knowledge, and methods to realize that vision, and (4) coordinating and balancing the conflicting interests of all members or stakeholders.”

So, do any of these definitions answer our questions about what true leadership is?

In the aftermath of the Tucson shootings, President Obama gave a speech about civility in public discourse.  After this speech, his approval numbers improved by 3-4 points.  Commentators attributed the increase to his speech’s leadership tone and Obama acting presidential.  However, subsequent to his speech, the rhetoric and caustic speech continues.  Does the fact that some of his constituents are not listening mean he is not a leader?  Absolutely not!  He remains the “leader of the free world.”

In sports the player with the best skills and the highest contract is often deemed to be a leader.  In politics a leader is one who won the election.  In business we associate leadership with the person who has the title.  You don’t have to look far to find examples of people with leadership roles and titles who are ill-suited to the work of leadership.

Leadership is not only about having a vision for the future and meeting goals, it is fundamentally about a deep set of beliefs that allows the leader to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve their greatest potential.  Does that deep set of beliefs matter?  Or is it all just a matter of having a platform to lead from and employing a certain skillset that is effective in getting people to follow?

Leadership is a complicated concept that is hard to define.  There seem to be a lot of moving parts to leadership.  Maybe this is why there are so many books, tapes, seminars and workshops on the subject.  We are all still trying to figure it out.

As I contemplate the word leadership and its effect on society, it stimulates me to ask you the following questions:

• Are we evaluating leaders by the right criteria?
• Are effective leaders always good leaders?
• Do people always follow good leaders?  

There is Iron in your Words

A promise kept is invaluable to the person to which it was made.

In the Clint Eastwood movie The Outlaw Josey Wales, two men in Josey Wales’ traveling party are captured by Sioux Indians.  Josey Wales meets with Ten Bears, the leader of the Sioux Nation, to negotiate their release.  During the conversation Ten Bears speaks about the white man (U.S. Government) not keeping their word.  After hearing Josey’s reply, Ten Bears utters a strong statement, “There is iron in your words.”  They make an agreement that is sealed with blood as the two men cut their palms and then shake hands.  The two prisoners are released and a peace is forged.

Do you keep your word?  Is there “iron in your words?”  In a world where many leaders make promises that they do not keep, it is nearly impossible to believe what they say.  When asked why they back-tracked on a promise, they immediately go into spin mode, deflecting blame and never really answering the question.

“You  lie” was shouted out in many of the town hall meetings across the country by Americans wanting to hold their elected officials accountable to the promises they made.  The words “politician” and “liar” have become synonymous. 

In times past a man’s word was his bond.  Before written contracts, many deals were sealed with a handshake.  No more.  It must be in writing with addendums and exhibits to the contract.  Trust is out the window.  Even when contracts are binding, they only ensure an offended party has recourse if the contract is broken—Ten Bears had it right when he said, “No signed paper can hold the iron. It must come from men.”

What happened?  Why are we as a people so untrustworthy?  I believe greed, deception, self-preservation and a lack of character has led us to a place I don’t know if we can ever come back from.

So many people say character does not matter, “can he or she do the job?” is all that matters.  To many, even marriage vows don’t mean anything.  Divorce rates are in excess of 50% and are not getting any lower.  Keeping your word is important only if it is convenient.  

In a small church in Oakland, CA, twenty-two years ago I made a promise to my wife to be her husband for life.  It was one not taken lightly, and after all of these years I am still committed for life.  A promise does not have an expiration date.

Leadership is about saying what you are going to do and doing what you say.  When people can believe what you say a trust is built that will be hard to tear down.   Keeping your commitments and being held accountable for what you have committed to is the hallmark of true leadership.

Real leaders always speak with “iron in their words.” 

Does Character Matter?

Authentic character is not turned off and turned on when it suits you. It’s who you are deep inside, and is revealed in everything you do.

Yesterday the Heisman organization voted on the 2010 Heisman Trophy winner. “The Heisman Memorial Trophy annually recognizes the outstanding college football player whose performance best exhibits the pursuit of excellence with integrity.” On the morning of the vote two sports commentators were discussing Heisman finalist Cam Newton, quarterback of the Auburn University Tigers. Over the past year Cam has been under investigation for possible NCAA violations. The two commentators were in an intense debate over whether Cam should win the award in light of these allegations and other off field issues.

One commentator stated that if the mission of the Heisman organization was to select an athlete who exhibits and pursues excellence with integrity, then clearly Cam should not be selected. The other commentator said that the award should be based solely on what is done on the football field and the off field allegations should not factor in the Heisman’s decision.

For me the question then becomes DOES CHARACTER MATTER?

In this post-modern day era many people have redefined the meaning of character. For those of us who were around at the time of President Clinton, many people thought that his infidelity with an intern had nothing to do with being President of the United States of America. His supporters said it was his personal business and being President was separate from his personal life. Even today he is very well thought of in both political and private circles for his work as President.  In their minds a leader could live by two sets of standards.

For the record, I believe that one cannot be a true leader and live by two sets of standards, one at home and one at work. If you are unethical at home, you will be unethical at work. I do not see how you can turn it on and off.

What happens when character is not valued?  Presidential candidate John Edwards' infidelity cost him his family and a promising political career.  Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme bilked billions from investors that cost not only the investors, but this week his son apparently committed suicide under the weight of ongoing allegations of his possible involvement in the scheme.  The choices made by these two men revealed their true character. 

My question to you is does character matter?  The answer for me is a resounding yes!  How about you?  Are you willing to live by a set of positive standards that you will not compromise? 

Below are few of the character traits that I most admire in leaders:

• Integrity
• Honesty
• Humility
• Self-control
• Respect

If we are going to get better, we must demand better from our leaders.  When men and women possess positive character traits, the result is trust.  You know you can count on them to not only do what they say, but to live their lives in a manner consistent with the things they believe in.  Character is the essence of authentic leadership.

What are some of the positive character traits that you most admire?

Demanding Leadership

True leaders demand excellence from themselves, before they ask it of others.

Before you can demand something from others, you must demand it from yourself.  You have to practice what you preach.  If you are going to ask someone to be on time for a meeting, you have to be on time.  Leadership that is demanding is not about being a dictatorship, it is about excellence.  It is about eliminating mediocrity and pursuing excellence in everything you do. 

During a conversation with the CEO of a fortune 500 company he was talking about his commitment to safety.  He stated that if he was going to demand that his team practice safe work habits that he needed to make the same demand of himself.  This is a critical element missing in many leaders today.  “Do as I say, not as I do” seems to be the mantra of the day.

As a leader how can you demand anything from anyone if you do not hold yourself to a higher standard of conduct?  Have you ever had a boss tell you to do something they have never done before?  And yet, they assign you a task that may not have ever been done.  I remember a quote that a former supervisor told me and I will never forget it:  “nothing is impossible to those who do not have to do it.”  I remember sitting down with one of my billing clerks to learn more about the billing process.  My reason for doing it was to gain a better understanding of what they were doing and how they did it.  This allowed me to set more realistic goals for my clerks because I now knew what it took to get the job done.

Our job as leaders is to create an environment that fosters trust, integrity, credibility, and a successful work team.  If you set the right example by serving as a role model and having your actions speak loader than words, you will be a better leader. 

The Blame Game

A few years back our company was in a deep decline. Revenues were down and sales were extremely slow. The cause of the problem was poor decision making and a lack of understanding of our business. The general manager in charge of the largest division of our company made several decisions that accelerated the decline. As the Vice President, I was asked by the CEO if I would take over the division, and I gladly accepted the challenge.

I proceeded to implement a new strategy for the business and within several months we began to experience a significant turnaround. I made the best decisions I could, but not all of them proved to be successful—sometimes you learn through trial and error. When something I tried failed, I did not point to the prior leader as an excuse for my failure.

Leaders accept the blame when we fail and give the team the credit when we succeed.

As a nation we continue to endure an unemployment rate of 9.5%, crime, war, poor educational system, homelessness, foreclosures, etc. Politicians on both sides of the aisle claim to have all the answers. Meanwhile many Americans continue to suffer through one of the greatest downturns in our country’s history.

When asked why things are not turning around, our elected officials continually blame the prior administration’s policies and the mess they inherited. Even if there is truth in that position, it should not have come as a surprise. After all it was clearly evident that our nation was in trouble and none of our problems were hidden from those who said they had the answers to setting the country on a new course of prosperity. When it did not happen they merely blamed the prior administration. They were elected on the promise of “Change”.

If we are ever going to extricate ourselves from this morass, we as a nation need to come together and work through issues that continue to divide us. We must be willing to be held accountable for the actions we take and the decisions we make, not play the blame game.

True leaders hold themselves accountable for the results of the decisions they make, good and bad.

The lives of millions of Americans are at stake. Fear and anxiety continue to dominate the hearts and minds of those who do not see a future with much hope. If we continue to seek out our own interests and not those of all Americans, Democrats, Independents and Republicans alike, we will continue to decline. Remember, this economy is affecting us all.

Are you willing to be held accountable for the decisions you make?

Humble Pie

Have you ever had this conversation with one of your children or with one of your parents? “I am the parent and you are the child. When I tell you to do something it should be, ‘Yes Dad,’ or ‘Yes Mom.’” Sometimes as a parent you may feel like you do not have to explain yourself to your child or that you have all of the answers.

I was engaged in a conversation with my son in which I knew I was right. I made sure that he understood that I was right and that no further discussion really was necessary. After a mild protest he finally gave in, (and not a minute too soon).

After he went upstairs to his room, my wife in her own motherly way and with wisdom and patience showed me the error in my position. As it turned out in this instance my son was right and I was wrong.

Have you ever eaten humble pie? The main ingredient is humility, but other critical ingredients are understanding, sincerity and love. It does not taste good going in, but once it settles in your stomach it gradually satisfies.

After letting the situation soak in a bit, I made the trek upstairs and knocked gently on my son’s door. He opened it and I said that I was sorry that I did not hear him out and asked for his forgiveness. He forgave and we hugged. What a great feeling!

As a leader you have to be willing to be held accountable for the things you both do and say to the people you lead, whether at work or at home. Simply saying, “I am the boss,” or “I am the parent is flawed leadership.

How you handle matters with the people you lead can have either a negative or positive long-term impact on your relationship. Admitting when you are wrong is not a sign of weakness, but respect and strength.

I don’t know about you, but I'd rather eat apple pie.

Wasted Lives

"If I could get the ear of every young man but for one word, it would be this; make the most and best of yourself. There is no tragedy like a wasted life--a life failing of its true end, and turned to a false end." -T.T. Munger

I do a lot of work in some of the toughest areas of Richmond, San Pablo and Oakland, CA. Many times I have the opportunity to interact with the people who live in those cities. About a month ago I had an encounter with a young man who evidently felt I disrespected him in some way. I am still not sure what I did, but he was filled with so much hate and anger directed at me that if he had had a gun with him I probably would not be writing this blog. There are so many young black men that possess so much rage it doesn’t take much to set them off. My experience that day reminded me of a scene in the movie Tombstone when Wyatt Earp asked Doc Holiday what made Johnny Ringo do the horrible things he did:

Wyatt Earp: What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?
Doc Holiday: A man like Ringo has got a great big hole, right in the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.
Wyatt Earp: What does he need?
Doc Holiday: Revenge.
Wyatt Earp: For what?
Doc Holiday: Bein' born.

I think there are a lot of angry young black men out there that are cut from the same cloth as Johnny Ringo. They are seeking revenge for “bein’ born.” They want revenge for not having an intact home, for not being loved, and for not having the life they only see in the movies. They take out their revenge on other blacks. They get involved in drugs to make quick money, and join gangs to find acceptance and protection. In an episode of the television series “American Gangster,” a gang member says that he expected to be dead by 25 years old and now that he is 35 he does not know what to do with the rest of his life. It is a sad commentary when people live their lives with the expectation that will be dead before their 25th birthday. This is the reality of many young blacks living in the ‘hood.

The Justice Department's Bureau of Justice Statistics Report offers a snapshot of racial disparities among violent crime victims. Black people represented an estimated 13 percent of the U.S. population in 2005, (the latest data available), but were the victims of 49 percent of all murders. Most of the black murder victims — 93 percent — were killed by other black people, the study found. In another study dated Aug. 9, 2007 the Federal Justice Department stated “49% of murder victims are black m and most are 17-29 years old, and their murder rate is going up.”

My question is where is the concern? Where are the protests? Young blacks are dying at such high rates and yet it doesn’t even garner a front page article. It’s like it’s old hat, like it doesn’t matter that one more young black man has died at the hands of another black. There are so many studies, books and articles of the plight of blacks in America, but no resolution. I applaud those who are trying to address the problems, but much more is needed.

What needs to be done? I believe we need to have more positive role models in the black community. We need to impress upon our young people the value of education. We need to value family. An unprecedented 70% of all babies born into black families are born into single parent households—we must reverse this trend if we are going to change the course of our current downward spiral. We need to focus on the lives of children and create an environment of learning and support that will begin to reverse the negative cycle. The problem will not be cured overnight, but we need to start now!

We need black leaders from all walks of life to exercise their influence to make a difference. Sports and movie stars, doctors, lawyers, architects, teachers, business owners and the like have a very important part to play. They must be active in encouraging and inspiring our young people to break the chain of ignorance and the cycle of death and destruction by inspiring a sense of hope that will help change our communities.

Know What You Don't Know

“Know what you don't know . . .

. . . know what you know . . .

. . . know how to find out what you don't know . . .

. . . but don't act like you know when you don't.”

Tony Friday, July 2010

What do you do when you are faced with a problem for which you don’t have an answer? Most of us don’t like to admit when we don’t have an answer. It is not a sign of weakness or a lack of leadership ability to admit you don’t know everything. Finding answers sometimes may take the concerted effort of a team of well-informed and experienced individuals who can combine their skills to help resolve the issues facing an organization.

What about in your home? When your family is faced with problems that seem to overwhelm, how is the leadership role defined? In our home my wife and I work together to manage the day-to-day operations of our family life. Together we nurture and discipline our children. On issues and decisions where we may not totally agree on how they should be handled, she chooses to defer to me and my judgment. However, there are many times when I have to trust her knowledge on a given matter.

Recently, we were faced with a challenge that took us totally by surprise. I did not have an answer to the problem and I realized that I did not know how to handle it. With extraordinary calm and resolve my wife was able to masterfully address the issue.

As a leader you must be able to recognize when you do not have the answer and seek out resources that can bring a fresh perspective to a problem. It is important to know when to step back, define the problem and bring innovation and creativity to the problem-solving process.

Once I was able to step back from the problem and gain clarity, my wife and I were able to come up with a solution together. My wife’s strength is her patience, and my leadership has been enhanced because of it.

Looking Back

"Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others." Jack Welch

As a leader I sometimes wonder what kind of impact, other than profits, I have had on the people I have led. When I received this letter from one of my former hourly employees it encouraged me tremendously. Hearing this employee's observations confirmed that my principles of leadership were finding their mark, and it motivated me to continue to work to strengthen my leadership abilities even further:

Dear Tony,

I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for all of the guidance and encouragement you have given and taught me in the past.

You were and continue to be an inspiration to me and many others that are fortunate to know you.

Over the past few years you have shown me what it takes to be a respected leader. I originally thought it only took a loud voice and some organization to be successful. It couldn’t have been further from reality. You have shown me that it takes respect, encouragement and follow up to be a successful leader.

No matter how busy you were flying around the country or how many meetings you were tied up in you always managed to follow up and keep your word as if I was your only employee.

The greatest thing you taught me was to figure out a difficult situation on my own. You always encouraged me by asking me “what do you think we should do” rather than telling me how to handle it and making me feel rushed. With that type of leadership I felt encouraged and motivated.

Your knowledge and patience has earned the respect you have today from so many people you have affected throughout the country.

I make every effort possible to utilize the many techniques you have taught me and I can only hope that someday I will have just as much respect from my employees as you have from yours.

Many thanks.

Sincerely,

S

It felt so good to know that I was able to play a small part in the development of an individual who is now is a leader in his community.

As a leader I want to encourage you to think about what kind of impact you are having on the people you lead. Are you motivating, inspiring, serving, and respecting the people on your team? I am sure there are individuals whom you have influenced that can say the same thing about your impact on them that my former employee said about my leadership. I hope sharing this letter will inspire you to always be mindful of how you are managing and supervising individuals who work for you as well as those who may be looking at you from afar.

Leadership Essential#2, Respect - check.