While sitting in the living room with my family, I got the bright idea to get up at 8:30 pm and go for coffee. I wanted to catch them off guard by doing something totally random. The good news was they were all for it. So off to Starbucks we went. For most of you that know me, Starbucks is not my favorite coffee shop—I am a Peet’s Coffee snob. Be that as it may, both my son and daughter love Starbucks, and because I love them I was willing to sacrifice my taste buds.
I wanted to take this opportunity to have what I call a leadership forum. This is a time where I ask my kids questions about leadership decisions that they face every day at school and when hanging out with their friends.
My daughter shared with us that she saw a friend at school who came up to give her a hug. She said he smelled of what she thought must be marijuana. When she asked him about it, he reassured her that he didn’t smoke it. Then he calmly told her, “I just sell it.” She was aghast and asked him why. He said “because I need the money.” She challenged him on his decision and he just turned and walked away.
This may not seem like a big deal to some, but her choice not to engage further with him or to give in to the pressure to smoke the drug sets her up to be the leader I know she can be.
The youth of today are under tremendous pressure to follow the crowd. We often discuss the importance of taking a stand for what you believe in. We also prepare them for the possibility that their good decisions not to engage in drugs, alcohol and sex may lead to ridicule and rejection by their peers. Doing the right thing may be costly, but not as costly as going along with the crowd.
In my opinion, the role of leader in the home has been taken for granted. Leading in the home is not about barking out orders. It’s about providing love, support and behavior modeling to our children and to prepare them to make good decisions in life.
How are you leading your family? Is it time for you to hold a leadership forum?
Hi Tony,
ReplyDeleteThat's a great idea, to take the kids for a random morning outing. I like the fact that you asked them directly about their own leadership opportunities. I have a son who is 20, and he has admitted to giving in to the social pressures of marijuana. It's very sad, and I am alarmed, but I will continue to keep the lines of communication open, as best I know how. Thanks for your post, and keep up the good work as the leader and father to your home.