A House Divided Cannot Stand

As a husband and father, I take my leadership role very seriously. I believe that I have the responsibility to lead our household, not as a dictator or an autocrat,  but by serving my family through love, understanding and compassion. It is not about my family serving me.  (No slippers at the door or an iced cold one while I kick back and wait for dinner to be prepared.) Sometimes it may mean that I make dinner or help out with some other task that isn't ordinarily mine.

My wife and I complement each other, each one helping where help is needed and working together for the good of each other and the whole family. For the sake of organization, we have mutually agreed that I should take the leadership of our home. This does not mean that my wife is subservient or that she does not have a leadership role. It just means that for any organization to function, there must be order, and that we each have different roles that enable us to best work together.

In today's society, it seems as though there is a lack of organization, communication, direction, and agreement in the home between husband and wife. This often leads to frustration and a lack of clarity and cohesion for entire families.  The world serves up many influences that can divide families, making it tremendously important for husband and wife to stand united with each other and with their children to take care of one another and support one another. In our family, it is our Christian faith that provides the solid foundation for our unity.

As a leader, I believe my role is to provide a vision for our family, and to support and serve my family. I am also charged with mentoring  my children and with loving each and every one in my family unconditionally.  It is not always easy, and it can be downright inconvenient and frustrating at times, but I believe it is all worth it.

Whether you have a single parent household or a two parent household, your leadership is desperately needed. The effect of your leadership will be felt in your neighborhood, your city, and beyond, possibly for years to come. The question is, will it have a positive or a negative effect?

I don't know about you, but I think household leadership is one of the most important forms of leadership in our society today, and it is being tested like never before.  Are you up to the test?

A house divided cannot stand (Mark 3:25).

A Lasting Impression

While at Peet's Coffee recently, a man I didn't recognize came up to me out of the blue and said "I remember you! You are the guy that snatched a baby off the roof of a car!"

About 7-8 years ago, on another day at Peet's, I was in the process of putting a little sugar in my coffee when I heard a group of people suddenly yell, "Oh No!" Curious, I looked out the window just in time to see a young mother beginning to back out of her parking space into the street—with her baby still in the car seat on the roof of the car!

There were a lot of people outside watching this happen, but no one moved to do anything. Without thinking, bad knees and all, I raced outside to grab the car seat off the roof ( I don't think I have ever run that fast before or since). The woman looked at me in horror to see me with her baby's car seat in my hands. When I looked down into the car seat all I could see were two little feet sticking out of a blanket, the baby blissfully unaware of any danger.

The mother stopped the car, got out, took the car seat out of my hands, strapped it in the car and took off without saying a word. I don't think she was ungrateful.  I think she was choked with fear over what could have happened and mortified by the thought that she had forgotten her baby on the roof of her car. It didn't help that her nearly disastrous mistake had been witnessed by 15-20 people.

Looking back, it was striking that so many people who were a lot closer than I was, failed to act.  I think most of them were just caught off guard.

There are so many opportunities in front of us every day to do good.  When the time comes and your opportunity is in front of you, will you ACT? You never know how or when your actions might avert disaster or, at the very least, leave a lasting impression.

Someone is Always Looking

What started out as a place to go after picking my daughter up from school and while waiting for my wife to get off work, has grown to be a family tradition.

Peet’s Coffee and Tea in Pleasant Hill is our family’s place to hang out. Most days you will find me sitting at one of the tables drinking a steaming cup of the best coffee made (my opinion).  After all the years of coming to this location, I have become friends with many of the baristas.

For the past three years, our family has been meeting at Peet’s every Wednesday afternoon to have our favorite drinks after eating at Daphne's Greek cafe. You see, Wednesday is the day for $1.49 Street Pitas, so it’s the perfect day for a mid-week dinner out together. I could eat ten of the savory taco-style meat sensations, but I limit myself to two. We often bring our computers and sit down and write, do homework, or just play video games. Most times, we just sit back and talk. However, there are times when we are engaged in conversation with each other and with other customers.

It's just a great day and we all look forward to it. Sometimes we are the last customers in the store and help shut it down at 8:30pm.

Recently, I had a conversation with several people who also frequent the store, and they expressed how much it means to see our family every Wednesday. They said they could not believe how much our family likes hanging out with each other and that it is inspiring to them.

At the beginning, we did not set out to do something to inspire other people. We hang out together because we love to! It has been a pleasant surprise to find how many people our simple time together has touched.

When you think your life and the things you do don't matter, remember that someone is always looking.

Colored String

She entered the coffee shop, walking slowly with the help of her cane carrying a plastic box full of assorted colored string and other craft materials.  She may call the string some other fancy name, but it looks like string to me.  She picks out a spot to sit and then gets her drink.  After organizing herself at the table, her drink at her right and her plastic box in front of her she proceeds to knit together the string in a painstaking and artistic fashion to what soon becomes a “friendship bracelet”.  While making the bracelet several customers walk by and ask her what she is doing.  A conversation ensues and in some cases they purchase one of the bracelets.  I have seen her do this on numerous occasions and I am fascinated by how many conversations are started because of this colored string.

You may say, “So what, she makes and sells bracelets.”  It’s not the bracelets, it is her attitude. She has a passion for making the bracelets and has just as much fun sharing her talent for making them.  This beautiful lady lost her job and is now working part-time and found a way to make a little extra money by selling 49'er, Raider, Cal football, and other themed bracelets.

It is amazing how colored string can have such an impact in people’s lives.  This little lady with the box of string, a small drink, and a passion for making others happy is making a significant and positive impact in the lives of the people she comes in contact with. What a woman!

She has made a positive impact in my life!  

Broken Leadership

Can leadership be broken?  I think it can.  Can it be fixed?  I think it can.

What will it take?

Let me share with you a little story of a small company with big problems.  While working with the owner of the company, we were looking at employee files.  I noticed something strange.  In a short period of just a few years over 15 employees in this small company of 5, had left the company for various reasons.  I was shocked!  I asked him what he thought was the reason for so many departures?  He began to rattle off the myriad of reasons.  His leadership was broken

I stopped him and asked, what was the one constant in all of the involuntary and voluntary terminations?   He reluctantly said, “ME.”  He realized that he hired all of them and let them underperform without holding them accountable. Because he did not set the right expectations, he paid the price, a loss of business and loss of credibility with the remaining employees.

He asked, “How do I correct the problem?”

I said, “It starts with you.  You have to take a step back and think about what type of leader you want to be and what type of company you want to have.”  Once he was able to come to terms with his leadership style and his vision for his company, then he could begin to attract the type of team members he wanted to join his organization.

Over the past year he has continued to make changes and now has a team that will allow for the type of growth they all can buy into.  Leadership always starts with you!

Little Things Mean So Much!

Little things mean so much. While having lunch with some former employees, they reminded me of the little things that I was able to do for our team.  They remembered the pancake breakfasts I used to make, the Jamba Juice days, and the massage days for the entire staff.

These little things were my way to show my appreciation to my team for all of their hard work.  They shared with me that in their current employment there are few times where their work is recognized.  They shared that all that is needed is a little acknowledgement for their efforts. They said that a little pat on the back, a little “attaboy” or “attagirl” goes such a long way to keep team members fully engaged.

As a leader, it is important to acknowledge your team’s work, not in a manipulative way, but in an honest and pure way. These expressions of acknowledgment show how much you appreciate their contribution to the growth and success of the company.  When people feel unnoticed and unappreciated, they feel like they don’t matter.

Remember:  Sometimes little things aren’t so little after all.

Re-Branding An ICON

With the passing of Steve Jobs the questions about Apple’s future started almost immediately.  What will happen to the company?  Who is going to take over the helm?  Will the company still be the leader in innovative technologies?   Well, time will tell.

I really believe Apple would have been better off if Steve Jobs had shared the stage with others in his organization.  Apple is inextricably tied to Steve and only time will tell if the cables can be severed to introduce a new a vibrant company or will the competition take a bite out of Apple’s market share.

When the new CEO, Tim Cook introduced the new IPhone 4 S, he received a lukewarm reception.  How do you follow a legend?  All inspiration and creativity was in the mind of Steve Jobs.  Yes, he led a team of the best and brightest, but we only saw the results of his thinking.

Steve Jobs was Apple’s brand.  His signature black turtleneck sweater and jeans represented his brand.  The apple was the logo, but Steve the brand.  Now that Steve is gone, my question is, is the brand gone?   After Steve Jobs died many around the world celebrated his life and honored him by wearing a black turtleneck and jeans.

Steve Jobs leadership will, in my opinion, be defined by what the company is in 5-10 years.  Is the company still the leader in innovation and creativity or will it be second rate?

Only time will tell...